Recovering addicts dating each other

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Knowing this, we can use our self-understanding to watch out for the same behaviors moving forward. Al-Anon is a 12-step support group for those who have a loved one with alcohol abuse. I was hoping that after the program we could slowly start to date. Am a 420 guy, it's what I call my therapy medicine.

I was so unfamiliar with the Twelve Steps that I didn't know enough to ask Steve about them or if he had done them. It is no pan that dating and uncertainty go recover in hand. For him, romance and recovery can be a highly successful combination—if done right. There is no finite amount of time that needs to pass before a recovering addict begin to date and how serious they should get recover someone. M I also say ring a NA meeting with your ABF Just one with him, you don't want to interfere with his anonymity and his sharing You can attend another recovering addicts dating each other a few times if you want tobut I always recommend NA so you get a new outlook on someone that is sin the program. He broke up with me a few weeks back but now his trying to get back to me as what he said realizes what stupid mistake he has done. We were in rehab together, so I know everything about him and he knows everything about me. Custodes local chapters of AA host a variety of sober functions, including sober surf retreats, sober camping trips and a sober softball team, where people in recovery can meet and get to know each other. Only then will you be healthy and whole as a partner for someone else. For it comes to an addiction disorder, deceit, manipulation, and friendships with fellow drinking or drugging buddies are too often the rule, rather than the exception. In a way, the thing which leads to that recovering addicts dating each other of incredible intimacy is that you're both fucked up - and that means you have a prime interest in remaining fucked up to maintain that feeling of a special bond. This is what we need to watch out for.

So put on your overcoat, you may be out there for a while. In short I realised that I really didn't have a spot in her life anymore. I loved him, he helped me stay clean. After a few months, we began dating.

Romantic Relationships in Recovery - You can learn to practice honest and open communication within relationships. This step is vital for rebuilding self-esteem and trust.

Birds of feather flock together. Recovering addicts working recovery programs together often include felons. It's strongly encouraged, supported, and often a condition of parole or probation. Instead of focusing on and interfering with his recovery program, how about focusing on starting your own? Being a recovering addict myself as are many others on this board who I'm sure will also chime in... Recovering addicts have friends in recovery because they can mutually support each other in ways that normies or co-dependents simply cannot do. Chino has some sound advice--not only do drug addicts have to recover, but so do their family members from all the traumas they may have endured at the hand of addiction. Read around on these boards, you'll find a lot of helpful info. Hi KrisMarie Listen to Chino and SpeedyJason, they are correct. I am in a recovery program and I am so thankful for all the friends I have met who are also in recovery. If anything this will help your boyfriend. If you love him try to be supportive and maybe look into going to a support group of your own as Chino said. I plan on going to my first meeting next Thursday but maybe you should go with him? I'm not sure if that's allowed but if you go it might open your eyes and you will see his new friends in a different light. Most recovering addicts are the nicest people out there because they are non judgemental. Give his new friends a chance, who knows! A huge part of my recovery is giving back by reaching out to others who are new or hurting in recovery because that kind of support was freely given to me when I was new, scared, and hurting. I really do hope you get to some Naranon or Alanon meetings for yourself. You are just as I was at that young age. I ended up completely losing myself after compromising my values and morals for someone else. Originally Posted by krismarie212 i am definitly looking into going to a nar-anon meeting. It is hard to walk into a meeting the first time alone. But remember that everyone in that room understands you in a way that others cannot. They can be a tremendous source of experience, strength and hope for you. And the meetings may seem a little strange to you at first....... As your loved one goes to his meetings and you go to yours, you may find that it is helpful to understand the language of a 12 step program. Think of it like SR, but with f2f people. As a recovering addict and a recovering codie, I need other recovering people in my life. I have no doubt, whatsoever, that I would not have just passed my 5-year recovery birthday if it were not for the support I've gotten from other recovering people. It's not just the addiction.. I got to the point I didn't even know who I was without someone else to focus on. It's taken me time to realize that people are going to do what they're going to do... The only person I have any control over is me. Oh, and just an FYI - I had a felony it was first offender so I don't have one now , I was a streetwalking crackhead, jumping into cars with strange men... If you read anything by me on this forum, you will see that I'm no longer that person. That chapter of my life is closed, as long as I continue to work recovery. Hugs and prayers, Amy you actually made a valid point. You don't have to say a word at meetings. I used to go to AA meetings, didn't talk for quite a while, but I listened and that helped... I was much more comfortable then, but that led to being more comfortable iN the meeting. As far as recovery? It IS a lifelong thing... In time, you'll learn to focus more on YOU than what he's doing, who he's doing it with. Quite honestly, his recovery is all his, as is yours. Hugs and prayers, Amy My son is in early recovery and has great relationships with several people he went through rehab with. He tells me frequently how important it is to spend time with people who are going through similar issues and that their non-judgemental attitude is essential to his recovery. Besides they are great at keeping meeting going a priority.... I am grateful to them all - have met a few of them and find them all very inspiring and greatly appreciate their courage in facing their issues and pursuing their recovery. The support we all find here on this forum and in our meetings with those going through similar situations is very much the same... I'm one of them, and I loved it when my ex had his solid fellowship going on. My question is not meant to criticize this concept; as it seems to work for many…. When I first arrived at SR I was advised at how high relapse rates were; warned about staying in a relationship with my BF because the odds were stacked against him ever finding long term recovery. Do most of you agree with this? For those that do believe relapse rates are high and long term recovery is rare…. How does it make sense for those in recovery to spend so much time together with others that are in recovery when they each have a strong probability for failure? My thought process is that this is a dangerous set up I get that addicts in recovery have to learn to deal with people and situations, and learn to say no to drugs on their own behalf…. But the concept of isolating themselves WITH ONLY or PRIMARILY WITH other recovering addicts seems misguided to me. I can better understand their relationship in terms of attending meetings and limiting their contact to actual therapy settings where open discussion could have benefits. I also understand addicts often end up surrounded by other addicts before they quit; so in this case they may have no friends left that are clean… in this case; I guess recovering addicts are a better choice for socialization. Like this is the best choice within a bad set of options. And I also understand that recovering addicts often feel guilt and shame , feel like they cannot be accepted by non addicts; however seems like this is something that should be worked on; the goal would be to overcome this mentality. This structure seems to validate that thought process. And if you disagree that success rates are low; then why is there so much negativity around having a relationship with a recovering addict? It all just seems contradictory to me. Again, Im not looking to start an argument — Im just trying to understand; and when I see contradictions in theory…it makes me distrust this whole concept. So if anyone can explain away these concerns that I have; Id appreciate it. I hope you know, that even with our history I am not arguing with you... I am in recovery and hope to share a little insight Originally Posted by krismarie212 i have a question - my boyfriend is a recoverng drug addict. It's more like cancer victims helping one another through there disease. Remember this is a disease and it affects the brain and other parts of the body. It is better for them to hang out with a recovering addict than there old friend addicts, is it not. The RA understand one another better than us normies do and they know when there slipping. They willcall them on it and help them stay clean. Go to Nar-Anon You might be nervous but once your in there you will be fine. You don't need to share unless you feel like it. I always leave the meeting feeling better. I also say attend a NA meeting with your ABF Just one with him, you don't want to interfere with his anonymity and his sharing You can attend another one a few times if you want to , but I always recommend NA so you get a new outlook on someone that is working the program. That way you meet some Recovering Addicts. For they are RA for the rest of there life. Originally Posted by TMZ No it is not the same as felons. It's more like cancer victims helping one another through there disease. Remember this is a disease and it affects the brain and other parts of the body. It is better for them to hang out with a recovering addict than there old friend addicts, is it not. The RA understand one another better than us normies do and they know when there slipping. They willcall them on it and help them stay clean. Go to Nar-Anon You might be nervous but once your in there you will be fine. You don't need to share unless you feel like it. I always leave the meeting feeling better. M I also say attend a NA meeting with your ABF Just one with him, you don't want to interfere with his anonymity and his sharing You can attend another one a few times if you want to , but I always recommend NA so you get a new outlook on someone that is working the program. That way you meet some Recovering Addicts. For they are RA for the rest of there life. Meaning the first two years as ive been told. See i don't see it being at all like any other type of situation. Cancer patients cant trigger another person. I understand the part of meetings and discussion; and if your saying that these friends are just a part of the newly recovering persons social group; so they still are encouraged to socialize and be with non-addicts on a larger scale; I get this. But a group of new people in early recovery seems like still a mix for disaster if the premise is relapse rates and honest to goodness attempts at sobriety are rare. This is really just a question that has tugged at me since i came to SR. My BF doesn't use the 12 steps so be doesn't do meetings with NA or the like. So it's really just for my knowledge that I'm trying to grasp this concept.